A Day of Remembering

Today is the seven year anniversary of my husband's death. It is truly amazing for me to sit back and think that seven years have passed since that fateful night when my worst fears were realized. But as I think back this day, I do it not with as much sorrow as in years past. I am still sad for Brent for the years that he has missed watching his daughter grow into the beautiful person that she is. I am sad that he never had the opportunity to go through the adoption process and raise this amazing son of mine (which should have been "our" son). I am sad that I will not get to grow old with the man that I fell in love with in college. That was not the man who died 7 years ago today. That man died years earlier, I am sad to say. This year, however, I am reminded of God's faithfulness to me in the midst of life's trials. I am thankful that in the first year following his death, God provided me the strength and courage to continue to go forward with finishing my Masters and raising my daughter to the best of my ability. There were certainly times that I wanted to crawl in bed and stay there and let the world go on without me. I am thankful that in those times, God brought special friends and famly members into my life to give me the strength and encouragement I needed to walk on. I am thankful that Brent's family allowed me to continue living in the family farmhouse rent free until Grandma passed away and God told me it was time to move on. I am thankful that they have continued to treat us as family as much as if Brent were still living. I am thankful for the new house that we have and the great neighbors who have become good friends as well. I am thankful for my wonderful children! How can I even begin to describe how wonderful they are?! If you have never met them in person, you can't truly know what I am talking about. Let's just say that I have truly been blessed by the Lord!! So today, although there is sadness in my heart, there is also hope for what the future still holds in store for me. I know that God has many things yet planned for me and walking through the past seven years has only prepared me to minister to people that I never would have been able to if I had not gone through this valley.

The flowers that you see in the picture at the beginning of this post are from my chldren for Mother's Day. They were delivered to the school at lunch today. Rachel knows how much I like to be surprised with a flower delivery at work so she had my mother-in-law take care of getting them picked out and ready to be delivered. Although Rachel didn't realize until after the fact that today was the anniversary (only that it was coming up soon), I can't tell her enough how much it made my day. I told her this evening that I have actually received more flower deliveries at school since her dad died than when he was living. Sending flowrs was not his way of showing his love.

At the funeral, Psalm 27 was read. The following verses come from this beautiful chapter of the Bible. They are verses 4 and 5.

One thing I as of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple. For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling; He will hide me in teh shelter of His tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

Levi news:
Today the babysitter told me she could have sworn he said "kitty" because they have a cat. After I left her house, I went to my friend's house who has two cats. Upon seeing the one cat, Levi said "kitty". Both of us heard him say it not once but twice. I'm waiting for him to say "doggy" next as he sees one at the babysitter's house and at our house. He also took 8 steps on his own tonight. He was able to walk a few steps, stop and stand, and then take a couple more. I think that if the toys wouldn't have gotten in his way, he would have taken more steps.

Rachel news:
Yesterday we were at the dermotologist for a recheck on her acne and how the topical medicine he prescribed was working. We also had him look at a lump on her back that we suspected was a cist. We were correct. She will be having it removed on June 3rd in the office with local anesthetic. He said that if it had been a little bit smaller, he would have done it yesterday but because of the size he wanted to make sure he got it all.

I am now off to read a little and head to bed as I am exhausted from a full week back at school. I am so thankful I only have to do 2 more full weeks, a 4 day week and a 2 day week before I am finished for the summer!